In what I’m sure their marketing department thinks is a totally web 2.0 UGC-based bit of facebookery youtubeyness, but which is actually just a good, old-fashioned write-off competition, Doritos want you – yes, you! – the loyal eater of corn tortilla-based snack products to name their brand new flavour (“Cat Sick” is not an acceptable option, nb). Packets of the as-yet unnamed “X-13D” chips hit US stores over the past couple of weeks, following in the footsteps of such culinary landmarks as “Cool Ranch” and “Smokin’ Cheddar Barbeque” (has anyone ever tried to barbeque cheddar? Take my advice: not worth the cleanup operation)
The competition website describes the flavour as “bold, new mysterious” and announces that 100 “unbelievably lucky people” will get to visit Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory will be named as “Doritos Flavor Masters” – a noble title which bestows upon its holders a year’s supply of Doritos and (I quote) “the privilege of seeing, tasting and giving feedback on secret creations from the Doritos brand for a whole year.” (one man’s hell and all that…)
Now, all this is exactly what brands are supposed to be doing: engaging with consumers, getting them involved in the development process. On the face of it, the “Doritos Flavor Masters” are, I suppose, similar in nature to “Lego Ambassadors”; well-known Lego fans who liaise with the company and help develop new products. But here’s the thing… it’s… it’s… Doritos. I mean, there’s something inherently amusing about Doritos asking for help in describing their flavour. In moments of weakness (read: hangovers in American motels) I’ve succumbed to the lure of Doritos and, to be honest, even a mighty food writer like Jane Grigson would have had trouble describing their flavour. It’s as though the old (pre-web archive) Onion headline “Doritos Celebrates One Millionth Ingredient” has reached its logical conclusion and the good folks at Frito-Lay have simply lost track of whatever they heck it is they’ve created in the snack labs: “What in God’s name is this, Smith?” “We have no idea, Sir, it just came out of the oven” “Well, damnit we need a name, man!” “Sir, we’re thinking about calling them Deep-Fried User Generated Content” “I love it! You’re fired.”
Maybe X-13D is in fact utterly delicious and the winning name will be something akin to “Rainbow Joy Tastes of Heaven”, but I’m putting my money on “Kinda Salty Cheesy Dehydratey BBQ Freedom Chips”.
