In a move so CV pleasingly, box tickingly, browny-point-earning it makes me cringe I signed up to a course at the Warwick Business School this year. I’m currently doing the marketing portion of the course and we’ve been studying the work of Philip Kotler (the apparent ‘Father’ of Marketing). He’s got a lot to say about brands. Indeed, he even provides a handy-dandy 3 step guide to getting your very own brand…
STEP 1: Define your target market
STEP2: Get your positioning right – what are you known for?
STEP3: Make a value proposition – why they should buy your product
THEN, and only then, you can define your brand
Funny, it sounds to me like defining your brand is a lot like getting a date:
STEP1: Define the object of your affection
STEP 2: Make sure you’re known for being well endowed, rich, charming (*delete as appropriate)
STEP 3: Ask them out – but make sure they know it’ll involve flowers, a nice seafood dinner and breakfast in the morning
THEN, my friend, you’ve got yourself a date!
Either way, I’m sure anyone who has ever studied marketing ever has studied Kotler. Just thought I’d mention that I have now joined the club. Plus, it never hurts to remember the basics…
First balloons, now dating… truly here at RMM we are Lords of the well-crafted marketing analogy.
Of course, the key, as I pointed out with Leo’s balloons, is ensuring that they want to come back for more. To extend the dating analogy to breaking point, then, I suggest that, when your brand is on a date:
a) your brand does not have hallitosis
b) your brand does not refer to itself in the third person
c) your brand does not say things like ‘and the lady will have the salad.’
d) your brand wears clean underwear
e) your brand makes it clear that it is totally committed to the other person (even if your brand is demonstrably a slut and sleeping with millions of other people)
So in other words…
a) Don’t stink
b) Don’t be obvious
c) Don’t tell the consumer what they want
d) (Again) Don’t stink/get caught with your pants down (cf. Chevy Tahoe)
e) Tell your customers just how much you love them and are committed to their pleasure
How’d I do?
You did well, young Padawan. although I still can’t forgive you for taking classes at the business school. I mean it’s bad enough that your department is in the Social Science maze, but… to cross that road… dude…
Oh, without doubt it is the MOST charmless department of r-tards the world has ever been bored to death in a lecture hall with.